This post contains affiliate links. My philosophy in language learning is, always has been, and always will be to Speak From Day One. But for many people, this is terrifying! I used to be very shy But before I do, I want to make something very clear:
Shy, miserable year-old daughter Nov Our 12 year old daughter is very shy, and she looks miserable most of the time. She is never the first to smile, but longs to be included in groups, smiled at, and befriended.
As she gets older, her shyness is impacting her involvement in groups, such as her softball team where she feels like she does not totally belong, and where she is not included in some events that the other girls have, such as b- day parties and suchher singing in the school choir the conductor says she cannot hear her, and she does not smileand school where she is neither popular or unpopular, but does not seem to be on anyone's radar, including her teachers'.
Her days are frustrating for her, and she feels sad about her inability to ''be seen'' at school or softball or chorus, and then she comes home and explodes at her two younger siblings. I guess my question is: Are there strategies or classes that she can take to help her deal with her shyness?
I think many people are shy, but have learned to cope or mask their shyness so that it does not impeed on their life. Where can she learn these skills? Sad Mama I had an extremely shy girl for a piano student a few years ago.
She was so painfully shy, she could barely answer questions, give eye contact or smile even though I knew her for years. She saved her angry outbursts for her family, which is really typical of shy people.
Her wise parents enrolled her in a program that utilized both one on one and group counseling sessions called the ''Shyness Clinic'' through Stanford University. The girl made a total transformation and is happy and successful at college.
You may be able to find something closer to you if you contact them. Nancy My very shy daughter was very upset from the age of ten on about her ''invisibility''. She faked being sick to stay home from school, and had headaches and stomach aches throughout 5th and 6th grades.
By the time she was in middle school she was desperate for attention. In high school she was drinking and throwing herself at boys. She managed to graduate from high school and even to get into UC Davis where she crashed during her first semester. She is now 19 and in an expensive treatment center in Houston.
I wish I had intervened at an earlier age as you are doing. I do not have very startling advice - except get her into long term therapy now. She needs to learn to love herself as she is. She may believe as my daughter did that getting attention is the most important thing in her life.
My daughter saw several Bay Area therapists who were very good: Lori Katzburg in Walnut Creek also is very good. I wish you and you daughter the best! Katrina Your daughter sounds more sad than shy to me. I would recommend that she be evaluated for therapy.
After the sadness is better there may be a good group that teaches social skills if your daughter is still shy when she is not sad. Judy Have you considered a social skills group for your daughter? It might be really helpful in terms of teaching her how her body language and affect are perceived by her peers and she can practice new skills in ways that feel comfortable to her in a safe environment.
My daughter attended Dr. Kathryn McCarthy's social skills group and received really valuable feedback on how some of her behaviors for example interrupting others were affecting her relationships.
My soon to be 13 year old has had similiar social problems in that she didn't seem to understand how to send social messages that were congruent with what she wanted to communicate, both verbally and nonverbally.
She had no friends. Fortunately, we got her into a social skills group of several other teen girls who met weekly and, with the direction of their amazing counselor, learned how to do, think and project what was intuitively obvious to most other kids. My daughter has blossomed as a result, and we are now ready to move on so I think they may have a space open.
This place is truly wonderful. You can learn more and contact them by gong to their website at www. Although I had high hopes, it was less than successful, mostly due, I think, to my son's reluctance to fully participate. One big problem was that there was no group for his age when he went, so it was only one-on-one.
The approach, if I remember correctly, was Cognitive Behavioral.I routinely encourage parents (shy or not) who take my social skills classes to practice their new found handshake, conversation and introduction skills with their children, friends and family.
Don't be surprised if your new skills make great party conversation, too. Fluent in 3 months - Language Hacking and Travel Tips. I used to be extremely shy. And I want to share with you all some funny stories of the insane things I did to force myself out of my shy delusion and to have no choice but to become good at talking to strangers.
These stories are crazy, but true! My very shy daughter was very upset from the age of ten on about her ''invisibility''. She faked being sick to stay home from school, and had headaches and stomach aches throughout 5th and 6th grades.
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Fluent in 3 months - Language Hacking and Travel Tips. I used to be extremely shy. And I want to share with you all some funny stories of the insane things I did to force myself out of my shy delusion and to have no choice but to become good at talking to strangers.
These stories are crazy, but true!
My friends and family probably wouldn't describe me as shy. But for me, being shy has always been about struggling to connect with people I don't know. I fear the unfamiliarity of a stranger—how.